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Getting Married??

Are you getting married? Do you know someone getting married? One of the greatest things that my wife and I did before we got married was to seek premarital counseling. I wasn’t for sure what to expect when we started our premarital counseling but it wasn’t far into the process that I started to see the value in going through the process of looking at what marriage was all about. We found the PREPARE/ENRICH Assessment a helpful step in that process. I know that most couples who are planning a wedding are on a budget. If you haven’t done so already, I recommend that included in that budget is a budget for professional premarital counseling services. Because of the importance of receiving professional counseling services before your

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What are you ACCEPTING in Life?

One of my favorite quotes is “When I Learn to Accept, Rather than Expect, I Will Have Fewer Disappointments.” I ran across this quote is a book titled “The Knight In Rusty Armor” by Robert Fisher many years back and it is one that I have processed and referenced many times. Acceptance has always been a big word for me as I have grown through hurts in my life. Learning to accept others for who they are was challenging for me to grasp. Learning to accept situations for how they play out was difficult. Learning to accept myself for who I am, was equally, if not more challenging than the first two. So as I have looked at acceptance and how it plays out in

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Honoring Your Purpose and Passion

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Honoring Your Purpose and Passion. Recorded at Mercy Church Kansas City on Sunday June 24th, 2012. http://www.mercychurchkc.com. Our Thoughts: You are what you eat Physically, Psychologically and Spiritually Worry brings about False Thoughts. Anxiety is Negative Meditation (the Dwelling on Something Negative) Our Thoughts are either Empowering or Discouraging. They Ultimately Connect or Isolate us from Ourselves and Others Enjoy the following video to hear more about the negative thoughts that get in the way of our Purpose and Passion.  

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Selective Numbing

We cannot selectively numb emotions! We numb one and we numb them all. When life if uncomfortable and the remnants of past traumatic incidences get too close to the surface of reality, we have a tendency to numb out! What does this mean to you and I? This means that if we numb SADNESS and ANGER, we also numb JOY! What are the ways that we can numb out? Too many to count! Spending, eating, sleeping, drinking, sex, drugs, medication, pornography, exercise, media, video games, cell phones, social websites…..need I go on? Each of us has our own way of attempting to deny the feelings of discomfort in our life. Whether we had an abusive childhood, experienced the death of a loved one, have gone

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Calling All Non-Perfect Parents

Okay, I’m glad your reading this because there a not-so-perfect parent writing this. I don’t need to tell you that our job as parents can be difficult at times, although the joy that comes with parenting can be incredible more times than not. So now that I have your attention, I’m going to stop typing and let you start! This post is an participatory  sport. So take a few minutes and give me your thoughts on the following question. Looking back on your parenting skills, whether that is one year or 50 years, let me know what you would have done different knowing what you know now?

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Born Into A Belief System

We each are born into a belief system that is continually being formed and expanded. It is true that we don’t have a choice of the belief system that we are born into but we do have a choice of what belief system that we attach ourselves to as we become adults. Belief systems are sometimes rooted so deep that we can feel like we are attempting to deceive ourselves by challenging them. But it is challenging them that creates the opportunities of growth that each of us desires. Belief systems include and are not limited to the perspectives that we hold on inanimate and animate objects in the world around us. Beliefs about how people act. Beliefs about cultural traditions. Beliefs about spiritual and

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Healthy Marriage

As my wife and I were watching the movie “Water for Elephants” recently, I was reminded about how relationships can be romanticized in our culture today. If you haven’t seen the movie, the main story line is about an attractive young man (Jacob) who is left broke and homeless after his parents’ untimely death. These events lead him to joining the circus as a vet where he would find himself working under an unstable and abusive boss by the name of August. August is Married to an attractive woman named Marlena who quickly becomes the apple of Jacob’s eye. I will spare you what happens in the movie in case you haven’t seen it, but you can imagine how a love triangle unfolds pretty quickly

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Merry Christmas

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Merry Christmas and may the Peace of the Lord be present in your life during this season. As I think about all of the events of 2011 I am led to highlight the concept of giving. This has been a year where I have seen many people give to those in need right here in our local communities. In the midst of the negative that is around us in our world, let us not overlook the many blessings that we can offer to those around us during this time of year. I hope that your Christmas is filled with gifts from God! Blessings, Bryan “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking,

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Trapped in the Silence of Shame

Shame has been discussed since the early part of the Book of Genesis when Adam and Eve exhibited their shame by immediately covering themselves up after the fall. Shame is a natural expression of feeling overexposed in a particular situation or event. There is a point where this shame moves past a healthy shame into what John Bradshaw calls Toxic Shame. As we move through life, we can have a tendency to get caught up and Trapped in the Silence of Shame. In the below video, Bryan gives a perspective on how we get trapped in this shame and how to start working our way out! This inspiring 40-minute presentation will not only help you understand how we get trapped in shame but will help

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Revealing Truth

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I ran across a quote this past weekend that has been rattling in my brain this entire week. When something stays in my mind that long, I need to blog it so here we go! As I think about the times of significant growth that I have personally experienced, all of those experiences included some type of “revealing truth”. As my false self has diminished and my true self has been illuminated, it has involved root beliefs being changed. For years I have had many people, books, workshops, programs, sermons, society, government, religion and others sources provide information that has helped me change some of my thought processes. While all of these sources and the information they provide challenged my thoughts, they didn’t necessarily change

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