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Archive for the Coaching Category

The Reason for Christmas

When I was eight years old I remember a distinct time of searching for something to make sense to me. It was a tradition in our family to take a summer vacation to Kansas City to watch a Kansas City Royals baseball game. My grandfather was a minor league player back in the 30’s and I remember that he loved to go and watch the Royals play ball. Some of the memories of this time escape me but at some time on that trip someone had given me a bible. I remember that it was something that I held close to me on that trip and continued to hold it close once vacation was over. After returning home from the trip I recall an evening

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Respond or React?

Responding or reacting, that is the question! I’m going to suggest that we do both each and every day. Responding and reacting is something that I have tossed around for quite a few years. I find that there are traits that are polarizing and cause a big separation between the meaning of the two words. So as I was sitting in a session one day I wrote out these separating factors on the whiteboard. (see the picture to the right) This list is certainly not all-inclusive; there are many things that we do when we RESPOND and there are many things that we do when we REACT! Think about when we are driving in traffic and someone cuts us off or is driving too slow

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Getting Physically Healthy!

I remember the first time in my life when weight started to become an issue. I was just out of college and I was living an out-of-control life. Part of that out-of-control life included out-of-control eating. When I jumped on the scales and I was over 200 pounds I was shocked! For my frame, that was a lot of weight. I had never weighed that much in my life. It hit me that day that I needed to start doing something about my weight. Shortly after, I went and I joined a gym. As the salesman was showing me around the gym I remembered him telling me that 13 laps around the track was a mile. The first day in the gym I remember running

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Blinded

Normally when I see couples they are coming in with some sort of a crisis. I hear about how the crisis started and start the journey through the facts to assist the couple overcome what is taking place. I had the rare opportunity last night, on my flight home from Boise, to sit next to a couple who were expressing their affection to each other in a very outward and public manner. I overheard the woman say; you’re 43 years old? You should’ve told me that! They for sure grabbed my attention. He then proceeded to tell her; what does it matter? Then they continued their conversations. As they continued to talk through some very surface information about each other I started to figure out

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Getting Married??

Are you getting married? Do you know someone getting married? One of the greatest things that my wife and I did before we got married was to seek premarital counseling. I wasn’t for sure what to expect when we started our premarital counseling but it wasn’t far into the process that I started to see the value in going through the process of looking at what marriage was all about. We found the PREPARE/ENRICH Assessment a helpful step in that process. I know that most couples who are planning a wedding are on a budget. If you haven’t done so already, I recommend that included in that budget is a budget for professional premarital counseling services. Because of the importance of receiving professional counseling services before your

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Honoring Your Purpose and Passion

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Honoring Your Purpose and Passion. Recorded at Mercy Church Kansas City on Sunday June 24th, 2012. http://www.mercychurchkc.com. Our Thoughts: You are what you eat Physically, Psychologically and Spiritually Worry brings about False Thoughts. Anxiety is Negative Meditation (the Dwelling on Something Negative) Our Thoughts are either Empowering or Discouraging. They Ultimately Connect or Isolate us from Ourselves and Others Enjoy the following video to hear more about the negative thoughts that get in the way of our Purpose and Passion.  

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Selective Numbing

We cannot selectively numb emotions! We numb one and we numb them all. When life if uncomfortable and the remnants of past traumatic incidences get too close to the surface of reality, we have a tendency to numb out! What does this mean to you and I? This means that if we numb SADNESS and ANGER, we also numb JOY! What are the ways that we can numb out? Too many to count! Spending, eating, sleeping, drinking, sex, drugs, medication, pornography, exercise, media, video games, cell phones, social websites…..need I go on? Each of us has our own way of attempting to deny the feelings of discomfort in our life. Whether we had an abusive childhood, experienced the death of a loved one, have gone

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Calling All Non-Perfect Parents

Okay, I’m glad your reading this because there a not-so-perfect parent writing this. I don’t need to tell you that our job as parents can be difficult at times, although the joy that comes with parenting can be incredible more times than not. So now that I have your attention, I’m going to stop typing and let you start! This post is an participatory  sport. So take a few minutes and give me your thoughts on the following question. Looking back on your parenting skills, whether that is one year or 50 years, let me know what you would have done different knowing what you know now?

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Born Into A Belief System

We each are born into a belief system that is continually being formed and expanded. It is true that we don’t have a choice of the belief system that we are born into but we do have a choice of what belief system that we attach ourselves to as we become adults. Belief systems are sometimes rooted so deep that we can feel like we are attempting to deceive ourselves by challenging them. But it is challenging them that creates the opportunities of growth that each of us desires. Belief systems include and are not limited to the perspectives that we hold on inanimate and animate objects in the world around us. Beliefs about how people act. Beliefs about cultural traditions. Beliefs about spiritual and

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Healthy Marriage

As my wife and I were watching the movie “Water for Elephants” recently, I was reminded about how relationships can be romanticized in our culture today. If you haven’t seen the movie, the main story line is about an attractive young man (Jacob) who is left broke and homeless after his parents’ untimely death. These events lead him to joining the circus as a vet where he would find himself working under an unstable and abusive boss by the name of August. August is Married to an attractive woman named Marlena who quickly becomes the apple of Jacob’s eye. I will spare you what happens in the movie in case you haven’t seen it, but you can imagine how a love triangle unfolds pretty quickly

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