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Archive for the Spiritual Category

Selective Numbing

We cannot selectively numb emotions! We numb one and we numb them all. When life if uncomfortable and the remnants of past traumatic incidences get too close to the surface of reality, we have a tendency to numb out! What does this mean to you and I? This means that if we numb SADNESS and ANGER, we also numb JOY! What are the ways that we can numb out? Too many to count! Spending, eating, sleeping, drinking, sex, drugs, medication, pornography, exercise, media, video games, cell phones, social websites…..need I go on? Each of us has our own way of attempting to deny the feelings of discomfort in our life. Whether we had an abusive childhood, experienced the death of a loved one, have gone

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Born Into A Belief System

We each are born into a belief system that is continually being formed and expanded. It is true that we don’t have a choice of the belief system that we are born into but we do have a choice of what belief system that we attach ourselves to as we become adults. Belief systems are sometimes rooted so deep that we can feel like we are attempting to deceive ourselves by challenging them. But it is challenging them that creates the opportunities of growth that each of us desires. Belief systems include and are not limited to the perspectives that we hold on inanimate and animate objects in the world around us. Beliefs about how people act. Beliefs about cultural traditions. Beliefs about spiritual and

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Healthy Marriage

As my wife and I were watching the movie “Water for Elephants” recently, I was reminded about how relationships can be romanticized in our culture today. If you haven’t seen the movie, the main story line is about an attractive young man (Jacob) who is left broke and homeless after his parents’ untimely death. These events lead him to joining the circus as a vet where he would find himself working under an unstable and abusive boss by the name of August. August is Married to an attractive woman named Marlena who quickly becomes the apple of Jacob’s eye. I will spare you what happens in the movie in case you haven’t seen it, but you can imagine how a love triangle unfolds pretty quickly

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Merry Christmas

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Merry Christmas and may the Peace of the Lord be present in your life during this season. As I think about all of the events of 2011 I am led to highlight the concept of giving. This has been a year where I have seen many people give to those in need right here in our local communities. In the midst of the negative that is around us in our world, let us not overlook the many blessings that we can offer to those around us during this time of year. I hope that your Christmas is filled with gifts from God! Blessings, Bryan “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking,

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Trapped in the Silence of Shame

Shame has been discussed since the early part of the Book of Genesis when Adam and Eve exhibited their shame by immediately covering themselves up after the fall. Shame is a natural expression of feeling overexposed in a particular situation or event. There is a point where this shame moves past a healthy shame into what John Bradshaw calls Toxic Shame. As we move through life, we can have a tendency to get caught up and Trapped in the Silence of Shame. In the below video, Bryan gives a perspective on how we get trapped in this shame and how to start working our way out! This inspiring 40-minute presentation will not only help you understand how we get trapped in shame but will help

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Revealing Truth

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I ran across a quote this past weekend that has been rattling in my brain this entire week. When something stays in my mind that long, I need to blog it so here we go! As I think about the times of significant growth that I have personally experienced, all of those experiences included some type of “revealing truth”. As my false self has diminished and my true self has been illuminated, it has involved root beliefs being changed. For years I have had many people, books, workshops, programs, sermons, society, government, religion and others sources provide information that has helped me change some of my thought processes. While all of these sources and the information they provide challenged my thoughts, they didn’t necessarily change

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Respect

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One thing that has personally impacted me over the past handful of years is the topic of respect. As I sat on a Southwest flight heading to Boise, Idaho, I was reminded as a teenage girl was asked multiple times to turn off her cell phone because the door to the cabin was shut, that disrespect is all around us. She was one of probably 30 people who had to be reminded to turn off their electronic devices so I’m not trying to pick on teenagers and I’m not discounting the fact that there can be legitimate emergencies that need to be taken care of. Now this may be small on the grand scheme of things but I believe it is a representation of the

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The Toxicity of Shame

Last Thursday night I was invited to speak to a Celebrate Recovery night at Life Church in Olathe, KS. The topic that I choose was shame. Below are the notes from that session. The Inner Child We do not choose what family or belief system that we are born into. As we grow through the stages of development, dysfunction and traumas can lock us up emotionally. These events can be shaming events. We start to think that shame is about us instead of what happened to us. Healthy Shame Knowing your limits The feeling that lets me know that I’m limited Without healthy shame, I’m not in touch with my basic boundaries Boundaries utilize the word NO An addiction is not being able to say NO Toxic Shame

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True or False

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A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about tolerance in our world. I believe we have strayed far away from truth so much that we are blinded as a world by tolerance. The following Sunday after this conversation was had, I was at a service at our church and Pastor Clint throws out this quote: “We live in a society that has exalted things like tolerance, diversity, peace, and harmony so much that I fear we may value them more than TRUTH.” – Clint Sprague This started me on a quest throughout the last couple of weeks of looking for the tolerance around me. As a therapist, many of my patients are a reflection of tolerance taken too far. They

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Do You Want an Intentional Marriage?

You deserve to be intentional in many areas of your life. One of the areas that I will challenge you in is your marriage. Whether you are married or engaged, your relationship needs time and attention in order to make it successful. Don’t miss this opportunity to examine the effectiveness of your marriage and be more connected and intimate with your spouse. NAVIGATING MARRIAGE INTENTIONAL CHOICES MARRIAGE WORKSHOP (download brochure) Led by Marriage Coaches: Bryan and Stephanie Vignery Gary and Christy Kuzmich Our mission is to assist couples to plot a course through intentional choices that result in action that empowers growth. Today’s marriages need intention more than ever before. With the divorce rate at approximately 50% percent for first marriages, 67% for second and

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