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Posts Tagged Stonewalling

Respond or React?

Responding or reacting, that is the question! I’m going to suggest that we do both each and every day. Responding and reacting is something that I have tossed around for quite a few years. I find that there are traits that are polarizing and cause a big separation between the meaning of the two words. So as I was sitting in a session one day I wrote out these separating factors on the whiteboard. (see the picture to the right) This list is certainly not all-inclusive; there are many things that we do when we RESPOND and there are many things that we do when we REACT! Think about when we are driving in traffic and someone cuts us off

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The Four Horsemen

Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington says there are four attitudes which he has found to predict relationship failure. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. When these attitudes are present in a relationship, especially when more than one is present, then there is a very good chance that the relationship will not survive. Here is a breakdown of those attitudes, give yourself an honest look at which one you have a tendency to play in your relationships (either married or dating). Criticism: Criticism is the fault finder or the one who judges unfavorably. When you criticize your partner, you attack your partner’s personality or character, usually with the intent of making yourself right and your

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